Friday, January 11, 2008


The Messengers, West Odessa, Texas

I wrote yesterday about the group "The Messengers" that were so important to J.D. If you saw them on the street, you might cross to the other side. But you'd miss meeting some of the most loving and real people you'd ever want to meet. I am glad for the experience of getting to know them a little.

All of them have their sobriety date and even remembered J.D.'s. Some were pallbearers. Some got up in front of a crowded church and through tears told stories about J.D. that made us cry, laugh, and be proud of him. One gave a very special gift to J.D.'s little sister. Another gave her her phone number. They invited her to come visit them at their cottage to hang out, to make friends. And every one of them knew how to give those sincere, hold-nothing-back hugs.

In spite of how they might look, they are the epitome of hope.

There is another person that is the epitome of hope -- and strength -- to me. The young woman, just 20, who accidentally hit J.D. She had the strength to attend J.D.'s funeral, to seek out J.D.'s mother, to apologize to her, to explain she just didn't see him, and to accept a hug from a grieving mother. I have a fervent hope that time heals her also.

Today's suggestion "Hope" for Have Camera Will Shoot is from one of my dearest friends, Nelda. Nelda, like many, has not always had it easy. She has endured some great sorrow in her life. Yet, her suggestion was that of "hope" and if you knew her, you'd know that was in keeping with everything about her. She is generous of her time for others, she is giving of her love and encouragements, she has an awesome sense of humor, and on top of all that she has the most beautiful pale blue eyes. She and I share a very long friendship that all started with one of my bumbling verbal missteps for which I'm forever happy to have made.

P.S. I am sorry I haven't made comments on your blogs recently. I miss them and miss seeing all the things y'all are up to. On Sunday, I hope to spend some time catching up with my bloggin' buddies. Thank you for the comments you've made here. I've appreciated every one.


D.C. Confidential said...

I love people who are just salt of the earth folk. They give me hope.

And, in addition to the thoughts and prayers for your family, our thoughts and prayers for the young woman who found herself involved in an accident she never intended.

nelda said...

Beautiful. The tearing-up kind of beauty. And thanks for the kind words. Love you lots.

Neda said...

Heartwarming to know that JD had so many loving and caring friends.. Hope also stems from JD's stricken Mom who has embraced that 20 year old and welcomed her into her indescribable bereavement. We all should learn from that infinite love and compassion. You and your family are in our hearts. Hugs, my dear dear friend.

John (Copyright JMM 2007-2008) said...

My condolences, again. All so very sad and you have to also feel for the woman, barely an adult, and for her courage to come to the funeral.

But how JD's mother reacted, that was character. It is so much easier to hate than to forgive. I know, I am not sure if I could do it.

You have an amazing family.

dianeclancy said...

Dear Debi,

Thank you so so much for sharing this whole story and process with us!! It is wonderful and affirming to find loving kindness in the hardest situations!!

Thank you so much!

~ Diane Clancy

Bobbie said...

Debi, thank you for posting this picture of the Messengers. They must be a great bunch of people because they loved JD too.

Lisa Sarsfield said...

Beautiful story Debi.
Life taught me long ago not to judge a book by it's cover. As the old saying goes. Tat's and leather arn't nessesscarily a reflection of someones heart. Especially older tatt's because they don't have the ability to change like our hearts do. It's great that there are people like the messengers out there because they will reach people that the 'suit and tie' people never will. We all have our place on this earth.
Very brave of that young girl. My cousin died in a car accident driven by his best friend and he showed immense strength to come to the funeral and see people who he knew well grieving because of the loss caused by his actions. I admire strength and character like that.
I admire yours also, getting these photo's and posts done. You are one strong lady!

Bev said...

Love to see this picture. People like this are all so kind, I know from personal experience. Surprised to see you and Bobbie still blogging, brave to keep carrying on as normal. I admire the way you have tried to get some good out of this.