Locked gate with grass
Neda has been posing a series of serious questions on Papiers Collés about the truthfulness in blogging, in art, in our own "electronic persona," as she dubs it. It has been giving me much food for thought.
This is my photograph taken in recent days that I saved back. It was too personal to post. Seeing it made me feel exceedingly vulnerable. But, at the same time, seeing it I knew I was glad I captured it. I knew this was an important feeling for me, an important moment, too. I don't want to dwell on it needlessly, but I did see the powerful feelings in it (for me only, perhaps) and was glad I had captured a touch of it. I didn't believe I would ever post it.
But, in the interest of honesty to Neda's probing questions, and in thinking of the tribulations I know first-hand that some of you are going through, I post this picture. I hope this picture can convey to you that you are not alone in your feelings of being "locked out" of what it is you so desperately want, or "locked in" to something you desperately do not want or do not deserve.
If nothing else, I want this post today to simply recognize suffering as part of life. I don't know why it's that way. I don't know how to take your needless pain away. I don't know any important answers, I only know the same questions you wonder yourself. In difficult times, it's the only comfort we can share, these shared questions.
5 comments:
I LOVE this symbolic and powerful picture. We are like the twigs hanging between what's locked and the hope of being free. Thank you for continuing the conversation with me...
I have always wanted to send you this quote by Richard Avedon (you probably know it already):
"If a day goes by without my doing something related to photography, it's as though I've neglected something essential to my existence, as though I had forgotten to wake up."
Peace, love, and lots of hugs!
Debi
I hope lots of people are going to see this image and read what you've said.
You illustrate what so many people feel at so many times and for so many different reasons. We imagine that we value freedom so much - yet who actually knows what freedom is? We know when we don't have it, when we feel locked in or locked out, part of things we don't like or not part of things in general - I wonder how many of us recognise the freedom we do have? We do all have those moments of exhilaration and openness - but there is something in human nature that makes us strain against constraints while we also seek security and comfort - when we are kids, we imagine that all stops when we leave home - now I am in my fifties I know it is so hard to find personal freedom even in ones' own head - Love you Debi, you are so great and have such a big heart.
That is quite a powerful image. Made much more so by the story behind it. I can't help but feel despair while looking at it. I think we each have encountered the same lock in one way or another. The lock is so fierce and constricting... the sprig of grass somehow intensifies it with it's endearing nature and yet numbs the pain for just a moment. Long enough to take a shot. It's hard to explain how I feel about it. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share your pain. You are right, it is a moment to... remember.
Someone once said, "civilization began when man decided to cast a word rather than a stone". I think this applies to healing as well - when the words come to us, the shackles of pain that bind us begin to rust away, no matter how solid and foreboding they may be. Words, images, art. By chosing to show this powerful, visceral image, and quietly, simply, naming the darkness that always shadows our lives, you've already lifted the veil, shone a light, taken away the dark power of this suffering.
You have an amazing, bright and resilient spirit, my friend, one that transcends the physicality and banality of distance and time. Through your writing and your art, you touch and move us so genuinely, and you make us love you deeply and think of you always. And think of ourselves as your friends who wish we could share a hug, a smile and a cup of that deliciously enticing tea Windy has sent you...
Your picture grabbed my heart the moment I saw it. It is one of those photos that will stay with me for always because it transcends the ordinary and becomes part of my experience. It speaks to us individually and collectively and brings us to know in some small way what you are feeling.
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